So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize