Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
