the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize