I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize