forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
