she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
