3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
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