he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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