Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
