Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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