I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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