oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
