sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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