i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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