Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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