Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
