found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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