She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
