ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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