Duck Duck Cougar?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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