It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I am spending my child support on dildos
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
