you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
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