Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize
