Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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