a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Randomize
