I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
