And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
