Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
