I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
