I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
