I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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