So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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