I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
