My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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