His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
