A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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