Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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