just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
