How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I could have mohawked her pubes.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Green mimosas i think yes
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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