Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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