it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
he high fived his dick after we had sex
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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