mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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