I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
