Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Randomize
