your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
