weddingsv make me drug and hornr
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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