im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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