Don't you send me to vm
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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