In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
