I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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