You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
