it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
