His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
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