i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
