it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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