I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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